Happy birthday maria manson,haha! its a slew of births this month of july.but moving on from bouncy newborns of yesteryears..i thought i had alot to write about,but ends up i have more to write on my TO DO list than the stuff i really want to talk about.
  Certain decisions i've made over the course of time,this year in particular,have taken bearing from my most primal processes. this cognitive response to stimuli from my surroundings can be judged to be less than satisfactory.but the fact that i think too many thoughts at once only serves to obliterate any capacity to act smartly. and the end result is utter disappointment at many ends.
  I was talking about the rude shock i got from mudshake about my taking the people around me forgranted. not realising that these people have always listened to my grouses and not bat an eyelid even when it got to the point of "you're rambling but i'll give you the attention anyway". and then when it came to my turn to lend the ear and the odd shoulder...i failed at being simply human. i yawned and nodded off when it was inappropriate;testimony that i've been living for myself and not for anyone else. when it came to saying nice words im a meister. but maybe i have been sloppy in my presentation..or i simply have stopped caring enough. BUT i still care,and that's a good thing i know.
  To the uninitiated,relationships in a nutshell..are like cars. they have to be maintained and you have the occasional servicing just to check for,and clear out any kinks in the system. more often than not,somehow something happens and you realise someone (could be yourself) has thrown a spanner in the works. that's when repairs need to be done. IMPERATIVE it is..otherwise your car can't move,can it? and i have overlooked the servicing part.
  All because I have been striving to see myself move away from the self that i was. this pursuit of betterment had an adverse effect..that of the loss of my heart. i became less human..i pushed myself away from forging real relationships;instead i locked on to the urgent need to ensure self-preservation. truth be told that's how Life itself works..natural selection determines only the best,the strongest,the most advantageous.that is how we see evolution go. could you say i am going through an evolutional transition?maybe...but i know i am still human,i still feel,and i am indeed sensitive to others around me.right??? =/

Currently listening to:
Elliott Yamin
By Elliott Yamin